Requiem for a Beginning
by SexinSatin
Summary: "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."


_Authors note: I wrote this story some time ago before the current storyline regarding Ziva's father. Not sure where it came from just another one of those things that popped in my head. Please read and review with your thoughts. _

_Please note I will be updating Secrets soon, I'd never leave you all hanging._

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Ziva was beautiful in her grief. Gibbs watched her standing in the light mist eyes downcast looking more beautiful than he had any business noticing. She wore a simple black dress and full length matching coat that on her were anything but simple. He tried to focus on the priests graveside words but found his eyes only noticed hers. A tear slipped down her cheek and despite who and where they were he let his hand find hers gratified when she held on tightly.

He'd taken a risk showing up at the funeral, he didn't know the young woman that had died not really. He was here for Ziva, and when she'd seen him in the cemetery the shock on her face had nearly made him walk away. The sad smile that had followed had been the only reason he'd stayed. Staring at the cherry wood coffin in front of them he had to work hard not to remember his own losses over the years. The woman inside had been far too young to die. Ziva had described her as an old soul, who never failed to make her smile. They had met when she'd first arrived in the US. Ziva didn't make friends easily or so she said, but Zoe had been persistent. Being Ziva's next door neighbor had made it easy for the other woman to stop by frequently. He'd met her once when he'd run into them at a restaurant she'd been lovely with an easy laugh and an obvious affection for Ziva.

Ziva had told him yesterday that Zoe had reminded her of her sister Tali. That statement had spoken volumes to Gibbs. Ziva wasn't the kind of woman to trust easily and for her to relate anyone to her sister Tali spoke to the level of feeling she'd had. She had mentioned the funeral was today and he'd spent the better part of the evening before warring with himself as to whether he should show up. He couldn't put his finger on exactly when his feelings for Ziva had changed to something more than friendship but it had been longer ago than he cared to admit. He knew it was more than lust when he realized he was as equally entranced by her laugh and smile as by her body. He didn't let his mind delve to deeply into whether or not he believed she felt the same; that way was dangerous and potentially destructive. He had his suspicions but he didn't linger on them. All of which was why even as he'd dressed in a suit this morning and followed her to the church he'd found himself waiting outside. His presence here would tell her more than he wanted her to know. And yet he'd found himself stepping out of his car at the cemetery anyways.

He watched her swipe a tear from cheek and felt her grasp his hand even tighter as they began to lower the casket into the ground. Zoe's mother gave the smallest sob and for just a moment Gibbs felt the echoes of her pain. He felt Ziva squeeze his hand turned to find it was her offering a comforting smile. Somehow she knew where his mind was in that moment. The final words were said and people were paying their respects to the parents. He continued to hold Ziva's hand as she stared for a long moment into the hollowed out ground. Only when most of the crowd had cleared did she make her way toward Zoe's parents.

Ziva felt the weight of grief battling with the curiosity of why Gibbs was here. He was good to his team that was known to anyone who looked close enough. Yet being here for her went above and beyond. Despite her grief, despite where they were she couldn't help but wonder if there was a deeper reason for him being here. She took a deep breath as she approached John and Pamela. They had treated her like family from the beginning something she hadn't believed she could trust at first. They had been patient and kind and over the years become important to her.

"Ziva..." Pamela didn't have any other words for the woman who had become much like a second daughter to her so she simply pulled her into a tight hug that caused as much pain as it eased.

Ziva had to swallow hard not to give into the tears pressing at the back of her throat. When John hugged her in turn she almost failed. "I am so sorry John."

Gibbs stood next to Ziva feeling none of the awkwardness he should have, instead he waited patiently while Ziva spoke. When the woman offered her hand he automatically took it in his own. "I'm sorry for your loss." before he could stop himself for some reason he couldn't name he continued speaking. "I know how hard this is." He felt Ziva look toward him in shock still wondering what had compelled the words from his mouth.

Pam saw the truth in his eyes, felt the grief burn just a bit brighter. "Does it get easier?"

"Pam..." Gibbs watched the man touch her arm and was grateful when Ziva took his hand again.

"Time fades the worst of it but it never really goes away." Honesty was the only thing he could give her in this moment and somehow it seemed to be just what she needed. She nodded then found a smile. "I'm Pam and you must be Jethro."

Gibbs felt Ziva stiffen slightly beside him and had to hide his surprise. "Yes ma'am I am." the man beside her offered his hand as well

"Good to meet you Jethro, I'm John." Gibbs saw the man give him a look he'd be hard pressed not to recognize. It was a warning and had everything to do with Ziva. Despite this man's grief he was letting Gibbs know that he watched out for her. Under other circumstance he might have smiled, instead he only nodded and digested this new bit of information. John turned his attention back to Ziva.

"We hope we'll still see you for Sunday dinners, at least one a month Ziva." it was clear to everyone that the couple needed the connection as much as they knew Ziva did.

Gibbs did smile at the surprise on Ziva's face, she looked to Pam saw her nodding in agreement. "I would like that."

"Good. We're having people back to the house when we're done here. You are welcome to come but we know you don't like crowds so we understand if you don't come." Pam pulled her into one last hug far briefer than the last.

Ziva let out a breath "Thank you I think I will go home. But if you need anything please call me."

Ziva stepped away from the gravesite reluctantly. Logically she knew Zoe was already gone, but leaving the cemetery felt like deserting her. With Gibbs' hand wrapped around hers she let him lead her to his car.

"You followed my cab here." Ziva pulled her coat a bit tighter around her.

"I did." Gibbs opened his car door for her waiting till she was settled inside before making his way to his side.

Ziva watched him get in, "Why?"

Gibbs could have pretended he didn't know what she was asking but dancing around the truth of it was pointless. "Because i wanted to be here for you."

Ziva felt the weight of his honesty as his eyes met hers. "Thank you. I wanted you here but did not feel I should ask." She turned her gaze back through the window to the gravesite. Zoe had been pushing her to tell Gibbs how she felt. Only recently she had told her life was short and not worth missing out on the good things. The painful truth of that statement made her bite her lip against a wave of fresh grief. "I do not want to go home yet. She lived next door, she was just there and now...I think I need a drink."

Gibbs nodded and turned the vehicle onto the street.

Ziva wasn't surprised when they pulled into Gibbs' driveway a short while later. Still she glanced at him as he turned off the car.

"This okay?" he watched her watching him for a long moment that should have been uncomfortable but wasn't and then she nodded.

Once inside Ziva watched Gibbs disappear into his kitchen. She let out a deep breath. Throwing down her purse she stepped out of her shoes and coat dropping them into one of his chairs. She smelled the scent of coffee in the air and smiled. She should have known.

Gibbs walked into his living room and caught Ziva smiling. He ran a hand through his hair to stabilize himself. He saw her raise a brow at him and knew what that look was about. "If you still want a drink I'll pour you one."

Ziva shook her head still smiling slightly. "No I think i would prefer coffee. Drinking myself numb has its appeal but will not really help."

"No it doesn't." Gibbs walked into the kitchen knowing she would follow. He set about making their coffee while she sank into one of his chairs.

"I am sorry if today reminded you of your family, of Kelly." Ziva watched his hand still as he moved to pick up their cups. It was brief just the slightest hesitation and then he was moving to sit across from her.

"didn't know it would," he took a bracing sip of the hot brew and stared into its brown depths. "I'm good though." It was true for the most part. Thinking of Kelly always held a mix of pain and joy. "How did they know who I was Ziva?" He almost laughed when her head snapped up and her cheeks flushed a deep pink.

Ziva wanted to lie, to find a graceful way out of the truth but the lie wouldn't come. She swallowed hard trying to work her way around to what he wouldn't want to hear. "We work together Gibbs. You met Zoe once."

Gibbs hid his grin behind his coffee cup all while feeling the truth of what Ziva was fighting hitting him like a fist. "That's true Ziva but I never met them. Just Zoe and only once."

Ziva was looking anywhere but Gibbs' face focusing instead on his hands as they held his coffee cup. How many times had she thought about those hands? Strong hands calloused, rough, and beautifully imperfect while adept in the ability to defend. Too many moments had been lost to imagining those hands stroking over her skin, pushing off her clothes and running through her hair. She knew what those hands were capable of had seen the absolute authority with which they wielded a gun and yet every time her eyes found them she saw only the pleasure they could give her.

Gibbs watched her go quiet, her gaze slipped away from him .Those dark entrancing eyes locked on his hands, traced them with a long sweep of lashes. Her skin flushed and her mouth parted ever so slightly. It took only a second for him to recognize what he was seeing. Ziva David was sitting across from him aroused by a simple look at his hands. If he hadn't been sitting down he might have been in trouble.

Ziva watched his hands clench the cup knuckles go white then release the cup and slide ever so slowly across the wood table to rest in front of her. Looking at him took courage; she knew what she would see. His realization of her desire for him was there in his blue eyes. It laid her bare and forced her to face what she'd been hiding from for far too long. "How did you know?"

Gibbs watched her fingers trace his hand and had to draw in his own deep breath. "I didn't Ziva, not until just now. Until now I thought it was just me." her fingers abruptly stilled in their gentle stroking. Her shocked gaze finally made him smile. "Did you think you were alone Ziva? That you were the only who wanted, needed, felt..."

Ziva felt her heart slam in her chest, forcing her to focus on catching her breath. "You never...I would not have guessed."

Gibbs stood pacing to the counter and leaning against it. "For one thing I'm too old for you Ziva."

Ziva saw the careful way he held himself back from her and moved to stand in front of him. "I am not a child Jethro." she watched his fists clench at his sides, a quiet reaction to the use of his given name but it spoke volumes. "I am a woman one who has wanted you for a long time."

Gibbs couldn't stop his hands from reaching out and grasping her waist. He stopped short of pulling her against him but only barely. "I'm also your boss Ziva."

Ziva laughed she couldn't stop herself his voice was heavy with need with barely held control and still she laughed. "For all your rules Jethro you are a man who takes what he wants. I waited I hoped I would be something you wanted."

Gibbs felt the last of his control snap, he tried to remember she was grieving, that they would have to face this at work on Monday and yet none of it mattered. His hands pushed deep into her hair pulling free the pins that held it. They bounced on the floor with little pings as her hair fell around her shoulders. "You push my limits Ziva, have since the moment I met you. Wanting you is far too easy, I've worked hard to fight needing you but nothing worked."

Ziva sighed feeling his words wash over her like an aphrodisiac. Her body thrummed with anticipation, pushing her to step even closer. "I need you to touch me Jethro. I watch you every day." She took his hands lacing their fingers together. "these hands, wishing they were touching me at night."

Gibbs had to close his eyes focus on his breathing yet again before he brought his hands to cradle her face, "I want you in my bed Ziva, if I had it my way I'd take you upstairs right now. But I have to know you're sure. I don't want you to wake up in the morning full of regret."

Ziva leaned in pressing the softest kiss against him, and then reached behind her for the zipper on her dress. In moments the simple shift was puddled on Gibbs kitchen floor. Clad in only a bra and matching panties she turned and headed for his stairs. Without turning back she spoke. "I have never been more certain of anything Jethro."

Gibbs watched her climb the stairs looking far more desirable than he deserved and for the first time in a long time locked his front door.

Ziva stood in Gibbs room completely bare; she saw his shock when he stepped into the room. Watched his hands tremble ever so slightly. That simple betrayal of strength gave her courage to wait patiently for him to make the next move.

"Hell Ziva, I thought I was crazy." Gibbs approached her slowly not wanting to startle her, waiting for the uncertainty to light her eyes but saw nothing but her need.

"Zoe told me I was holding back for no reason. She said the first time she saw you she knew the feeling was mutual. I was certain she was wrong." Ziva reached between them and took the liberty of removing his belt. The leather slid through her hands before hitting the floor startling both of them. His smile as always made her shiver.

"She was right Ziva, wanted you longer than I should have." Gibbs slid out of his clothes easily, watching her watching him waiting for the disappointment even men with his confidence feared. Instead he watched the rosy flush of need wash over her skin. Her dusky nipples already aroused tightened further, and the harshly drawn in breath took away any remaining doubts about how she viewed him.

"You should have told me Jethro, we would have been in your bed much sooner." Ziva closed the distance between them letting her bare skin brush against his. His head fell against hers and his hands clenched roughly into the skin of her upper arms. Had it been a conscious gesture he would have been mortified but that loss of control spoke to her. "I have spent far too many nights alone wishing you were inside me."

Gibbs felt her words drown him in desire, he hadn't known he was pushing her to the bed until he felt the hot slick satin of her body against him on the cool blue sheets. She gasped out a breath and he pulled away. "Did I hurt you?"

Ziva laughed softly, she almost asked what type of delicate flowers he'd been with but refrained. "No Jethro you did not hurt me. I will not break, I do not require you treat me like something breakable." With the edge of surprise on her side she flipped him on his back, straddling him effortlessly, before he could think further she let herself slide over him. His shock stilled his hands that had found the sensitive skin of her hip. A bitten off curse almost penetrated the haze of pleasure that washed over her as he slid fully inside her. For a moment she had to hold very very still, the sensations were too intense, need, fulfillment, the faint hint of discomfort and the very real feeling of having found perfection.

Gibbs should have known Ziva would want to take control at his slightest hesitation. The reality of it was nerve burning. His entire being felt as though it were on fire as she slid over him and it was the best sort of burn. Forcing his eyes open he watched her head thrown back, hips moving ever so slowly and nearly couldn't hold back from coming that second. Grasping her hands he twined them with his own feeling her grip tighten with every subtle sway of her hips.

Ziva knew it was too soon, knew to let go right this moment would reveal just how long she'd wanted him but her body would not be refused. Her muscles clenched tight her entire body taunt like a bowstring hands pressing Gibbs' own against the bed as she fell against him. Her hips twisted against his relentlessly as she was pushed into a void of color and heat that burned over her skin like wildfire.

Gibbs had never seen something as beautiful as Ziva making love to him. She bore no inhibitions, her body demanded from his, her eyes finding his as she came. Her dark eyes went black as her body tightened unmercifully around him. Where before his nerves had burned now they flamed racing through his body to where they were joined forcing his release without his will. His harsh exclamation of completion closely followed hers, ground out as a rush of feeling sapped the last of his strength.

Moments or hours later he wrapped her in his embrace holding her tightly to him. As he stroked her hair he offered a silent prayer to the young woman gone to soon that had led them to each other.


End file.
